Addiction Recovery: Understanding The Change Process

By the time someone reaches out for professional support for addiction issues, it's likely they've made repeated attempts to address the behavior on their own. A lack of sustained change and the experience of past setbacks can undermine both confidence and hope. A sense of shame may begin to grow and become a further fuel for the addiction.

Shame may already have been one of the original triggers for engaging in the behaviour - a way to numb the pain of the all too common experience of feeling inadequate in some way. When engagement in addictive behaviours becomes an additional source of shame, people can get stuck in a cycle. The behaviour causes shame but it's also perceived as an antidote to it. Each engagement with the behaviour causes more shame which increases the likelihood of re-engaging with the behaviour to seek the hoped for relief.

An indispensable tool for addiction recovery is compassion - a willingness to sit with our experience in a way that allows for a non-judgmental exploration of it. The root words of compassion help us understand what it asks of us. "Com" means with and "passion" means suffering. Being compassionate means being with our suffering and, at its' core, addictive behaviour is a reflection of a person's suffering. When you can approach your experience with compassion, you break out of the shame cycle and create an environment where deeper understanding can occur.

In the early stages of addiction recovery, it's vital to understand how the change process works. Not just how someone changes an addictive behaviour, but the trajectory that any behavioural change tends to follow. This helps you to have realistic expectations; to respond to setbacks with curiosity rather than judgment; and to persevere along your road to recovery. 

The Stages of Change

A common aspect of addictive behaviours is ambivalence about change: a part of you wants to reduce or stop engaging in the behavior, whereas another part feels less invested in the need to change. This experience of moving back and forth along a continuum of commitment can be a source of discouragement and self-judgment. Things can shift when you come to recognize that such movement is an expected part of the change process - so much so that an entire model was designed to reflect the experience as part of The Stages of Change. 

STAGES OF CHANGE MODEL 

Pacheco, Ignacio. The Stages of Change Model. Social Work Tech.com. Retrieved September 1, 2025. https://socialworktech.com/2012/01/09/stages-of-change-prochaska-diclemente/

The model starts with Pre-Contemplation and symbolizes the period in which there is no intention to change. When an addictive behavior first begins, the sense may be that there are only benefits and no consequences, hence no thoughts of changing. When you have the drink, you feel less socially anxious; when you smoke a joint, you feel less stressed; or when you scroll through social media, you feel stimulated out of your boredom.  

At some point, consequences start to develop and this leads to Contemplation of whether to change. You may regret the way you acted at a party; recognize the amount of money you’re spending; or realize that the behavior is impacting your mental health. You consider change but not with any sense of commitment. Often as time passes, the memory of the consequences fades and you shift back into Pre-Contemplation. This cycle of moving between the first two stages can last for years. 

If the consequences continue to increase or your awareness of them begins to grow, they can become harder to ignore. It's then that the scales start to tip towards Preparation. This is when the consequences of the behaviour start to outweigh the benefits. Initial efforts to explore change begin: you may search online about how to get help; set goals for change; or talk to a friend or a professional about your concerns.

A Change of View

The real momentum towards sustained change happens when you move into the Action stage. This occurs when the cost analysis is no longer about whether to continue in the addictive behaviour, rather the focus becomes the pros and cons of investing in the behaviours needed to support change. You set your sights on what to do rather than what not to do. This energetic shift from avoidance to engagement can make all the difference.

If you spend your days thinking about not engaging in the addictive behaviour, you may end up thinking about the addictive behavior all day. It will continue to take up a disproportionate part of your life, which was likely one of the reasons you sought out change in the first place. If instead you start investing in new behaviors that actually meet your underlying needs, the appeal of the addictive behavior naturally begins to lessen as your sense of fulfillment increases. What you focus on gets bigger and when you're focused on healing, that's what grows.  

Change requires time, effort, and commitment. It will not be linear. There will be obstacles along the way. These realities can deter people from investing in the process. However, when the benefits of changing become clearer, they can fuel motivation to engage in the necessary behaviors despite the challenges that may come. With this heightened commitment comes a willingness to trust the process; persevere through setbacks; and practice new ways of being in the world.

Over time as new and more effective coping strategies become more habitual, you enter the Maintenance phase of change. What once felt awkward or uncomfortable starts to feel more natural. Where you once had doubt about whether something could work, you start to have evidence that it does. The new way of approaching life becomes more appealing than the old. As the name of this phase suggests, you must continue to maintain your gains and build upon them through ongoing investment in your well-being.  

Relapse And Recovery

At any stage in the process of change, it's possible for people to shift backwards into a previous stage. This can occur in the early stages where people get stuck in the Pre-Contemplation and Contemplation phases, but it can also happen after a sustained period of change. This phase is termed Relapse and represents a return to the previous pattern of behaviours. 

The fact that Relapse is embedded in the model serves as a reminder of the need for vigilance, but it can also be a source of discouragement for some. For me it represents the need for compassion and perseverance. Changing long-term patterns can be difficult. The most important thing is to stay engaged and continue to invest. 

Sometimes it may feel like you take one step forward and two steps back. If you're willing to examine that experience, it can afford you the opportunity to take a more objective look at the obstacle you encountered. That reflection may also be the key to learning about a missing piece of the puzzle or an unmet need that was previously beyond your awareness. If you can approach setbacks with compassionate inquiry into their meaning, those two steps back may transform into a running start to overcome what seemed to be an insurmountable obstacle. 

Compassionate Inquiry: The Fuel of Recovery

Understanding the change process is crucial to developing the personalized strategies you’ll need to succeed. There is no one size fits all strategy for healing. Knowing that the path forward will not be straight or without bumps allows you to prepare to stay engaged through setbacks. Instead of seeing a temporary obstacle as a personal failing, you can remain interested in what it reveals about the next step required to continue towards your goals.

Ultimately, addiction recovery is not about the addictive behaviour. The behaviour is an attempted solution for other problems and serves as an indicator of the attention these original issues require. As your focus shifts to better understanding what underlies the behaviour, compassion grows; insights begin to flourish; and more effective strategies for meeting true needs are revealed. Change is not predictable and won't happen on a guaranteed timeline. But change is possible and compassionate inquiry creates the best conditions for it to occur.